This or that questions

Everyday this or that

• Parking: back into the spot, or pull straight in?

  • BACK IN

    You do the hard part once, then leave fast and see everything coming.

  • PULL IN

    Nobody has to sit behind you while you line up a three-point turn.

• Your order comes out wrong: send it back, or just eat it?

  • SEND IT BACK

    Kitchens fix wrong orders all day, so let them fix yours.

  • JUST EAT IT

    Waiting for a new plate means watching everyone else eat.

• Neighbor's dog barks all night: knock on their door, or leave a note?

  • KNOCK

    Nobody can ignore a face at the door the way they ignore a note.

  • LEAVE A NOTE

    A note gets read calmly, not half asleep in a bathrobe.

• Does ketchup go in the fridge or the pantry?

  • FRIDGE

    The bottle says refrigerate after opening, right there on the label.

  • PANTRY

    It's mostly vinegar and sugar, so diners leave it out all day.

• Should the toilet paper go over or under?

  • OVER

    The patent drawing shows over, so you're arguing with the inventor.

  • UNDER

    Cats and toddlers can't unroll it when the end hangs against the wall.

• Should you shower in the morning or at night?

  • MORNING

    It wakes you up and sends you out the door looking fresh.

  • NIGHT

    You don't drag the whole day's dirt into clean sheets.

• Is it better to be too hot or too cold?

  • TOO HOT

    You can always find shade, and nobody ever lost a toe to July.

  • TOO COLD

    There's only so much you can take off in public.

• Your best friend asks you to lie for them: cover, or tell the truth?

  • COVER FOR THEM

    They'd do it for you, and that's what a best friend is for.

  • TELL THE TRUTH

    A friend who asks you to lie is spending your name, not theirs.

• Is sneaking out of a party without saying bye rude, or smooth?

  • RUDE

    Your host spends an hour wondering if you got home OK.

  • SMOOTH

    Saying bye to twenty people turns leaving into another hour of party.

• Is canceling plans the same day rude, or self-care?

  • RUDE

    They already cleared their evening and maybe booked a table for you.

  • SELF-CARE

    Showing up exhausted and grumpy is worse than not showing up.

• Meeting a friend's parents: hug or handshake?

  • HUG

    A handshake with your friend's mom feels like a job interview.

  • HANDSHAKE

    A handshake never surprises anyone, and some dads freeze at a hug.

• Would you fight one horse-sized duck or a hundred duck-sized horses?

  • ONE BIG DUCK

    One opponent is easier to track than a hundred tiny hooves at once.

  • 100 HORSES

    Each tiny horse goes down with a gentle kick.

• Is wearing shorts in winter a flex or a cry for help?

  • A FLEX

    Anyone can wear a coat, and it takes nerve to show calves in January.

  • CRY FOR HELP

    Nobody chooses frozen knees unless the laundry has gotten out of hand.

• Is camping a vacation, or just chores outdoors?

  • VACATION

    The stars over a campsite beat any hotel view you can book.

  • OUTDOOR CHORES

    You haul water and scrub pots, then sleep in a bedroom made of nylon.

• Maid of honor or best man: your best friend, or your sibling?

  • BEST FRIEND

    Your best friend chose you, and they know the stories worth telling.

  • SIBLING

    Your sibling will still be in the family photos when you're eighty.

• Surprise party: a sweet gift, or a nightmare?

  • SWEET GIFT

    Everyone you love spent weeks sneaking around just to see you smile.

  • NIGHTMARE

    You walk in with bad hair and no makeup, and forty people yell.

• Would you rather eat 10 live spiders, or lick a gas station toilet seat clean?

  • EAT SPIDERS

    Spiders are just protein, and it's over in ten crunchy seconds.

  • LICK IT CLEAN

    A toilet seat holds still. Ten live spiders will not.

• 1,000 cockroaches in your attic, or one friendly stranger?

  • 1,000 ROACHES

    You can call an exterminator, but there's no service for strangers.

  • ONE STRANGER

    One friendly stranger won't crawl across your face at night.

• Would you rather read minds or travel through time?

  • READ MINDS

    You'd win every poker game and every job interview.

  • TIME TRAVEL

    You could watch dinosaurs and still be home in time for dinner.

• Invisibility, or flying for six hours a day?

  • GO INVISIBLE

    You'd finally hear what your friends say about you after you leave.

  • FLY 6 HOURS

    Your commute would be a view over the clouds and zero traffic.

• Would you rather give up your phone for two weeks or hot showers for a month?

  • NO PHONE

    Two weeks offline is a vacation, and you'd come back calmer.

  • NO HOT SHOWERS

    You'd rather shiver for a month than miss two weeks of group chat.

• A year on a space station, or a year in a glass city under the sea?

  • SPACE STATION

    You'd look down at the whole Earth every ninety minutes.

  • UNDER THE SEA

    You'd keep gravity and get whales drifting past the window.

• Would you rather live with your parents for two years, or your ex for a month?

  • MY PARENTS

    Free laundry and home cooking beat a month of awkward silence.

  • MY EX

    A bad month ends fast, while two years at home is a whole chapter.

• Three hours stuck in an elevator: your boss, or your partner's mom?

  • MY BOSS

    Work talk fills three hours, and nothing said ends up at Thanksgiving.

  • PARTNER'S MOM

    Three hours of bonding and you're her favorite at every holiday.

• Would you rather be the funniest person in the room, or the most confident?

  • FUNNIEST

    The person who makes the room laugh gets invited back every time.

  • MOST CONFIDENT

    Walking in sure of yourself gets you the job and the date.

• A rewind button or a pause button for your life?

  • REWIND

    You could take back the worst thing you ever said.

  • PAUSE

    You could stop the best night of your life and stay a while.

• Would you rather never eat cheese again, or never eat bread again?

  • NO CHEESE

    Bread is the base of half your meals, and cheese is just a topping.

  • NO BREAD

    Rice can stand in for bread, and nothing stands in for cheese.

• A job you love for $40K, or a job you hate for $150K?

  • DREAM JOB

    Money can't fix dreading every single Monday for thirty years.

  • BIG PAYCHECK

    An extra $110K a year makes almost any Monday easier to take.

From the guest decks

Every Friday a new guest host brings eight questions to The Lobbyist. These are their this-or-thats. All the guest decks.

• My brides and I always match. Are couples costumes cute, or cringe?

  • CUTE

    Salt and pepper shakers walking in together will win the party.

  • CRINGE

    You're stuck side by side all night, or the costume makes no sense.

  From Uninvited, hosted by Count Dracula

• A fridge that orders its own groceries: helpful, or too much?

  • HELPFUL

    You'd never run out of milk on a Sunday night again.

  • TOO MUCH

    Nobody needs a fridge that buys twelve yogurts because you ate one.

  From Spare Parts, hosted by Frankenstein's monster

• I'm all secondhand parts. For clothes: thrift store, or brand new?

  • THRIFT STORE

    A wool coat for eight dollars, and nobody else at the party has it.

  • BRAND NEW

    Brand new fits right and hasn't been anywhere you don't know about.

  From Spare Parts, hosted by Frankenstein's monster

• Murder is my line of work. Is true crime as a hobby fun, or a bit creepy?

  • FUN

    It's a puzzle with real stakes, and cracking it first feels great.

  • A BIT CREEPY

    Those were real people, and their worst day became a weekend binge.

  From Elementary, hosted by Sherlock Holmes

• The case of the stolen office lunch: set a trap, or ask around?

  • SET A TRAP

    Pack a lunch with way too much hot sauce and watch who sweats.

  • ASK AROUND

    Ask around nicely and the guilty one usually cracks by Friday.

  From Elementary, hosted by Sherlock Holmes

• Watson never complains. Better to be the sidekick, or the star?

  • SIDEKICK

    The sidekick gets the adventure without the pressure or the blame.

  • THE STAR

    The star makes the big calls, and the big calls are the fun part.

  From Elementary, hosted by Sherlock Holmes

• The game is afoot! Escape rooms: a blast, or stressful?

  • A BLAST

    An hour of clues with friends, and you walk out feeling like a genius.

  • STRESSFUL

    A ticking clock plus four people yelling at one padlock equals panic.

  From Elementary, hosted by Sherlock Holmes

• Is hitting snooze a treat or a trap?

  • TREAT

    Nine more minutes under a warm blanket is the best part of the day.

  • TRAP

    You wake up three times instead of once and feel worse every time.

  From Snooze Or Lose, hosted by Gary the sloth

• Is it better to be a morning person or a night owl?

  • MORNING PERSON

    The world is quiet at 6 a.m., and your work is done before lunch.

  • NIGHT OWL

    The best ideas and the best conversations show up after midnight.

  From Snooze Or Lose, hosted by Gary the sloth

• Are dogs better than cats?

  • DOGS

    A dog is thrilled to see you, even if you only went to get the mail.

  • CATS

    A cat never needs a walk in the rain at 6 a.m.

  From Pet Peeves, hosted by Duchess Fluffington

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