Party games for introverts

Plenty of introverts like games. What they mind is what often comes with them, like acting something out alone in the middle of the room, or one loud player running the whole night.

A good game also fixes something a lot of introverts dislike about parties: talk with no purpose. Small talk asks you to come up with a topic and a personality at the same time. A game hands you both. Nobody has to think of something to say about the weather when the question on the table is whether a hot dog is a sandwich.

• Everyone gets a role. When the game tells you what to do, you're not putting yourself on display. You're playing a part.
• There's a clear time to speak. Free-for-alls reward whoever talks first and loudest.
• Each question hands you an opening line. If it has two sides, the first thing you say is which side you're on.
• Everyone acts at once. When answers and votes are locked in together, nobody has to go first alone.
• Rounds are short. Five minutes is easier to say yes to than two hours.
• Nobody performs alone. No solo charades, no forfeits.

Something changes when you give a quiet person a side to argue: the words aren't entirely theirs anymore. They belong to the side. School debate works this way. You argue the side you're given, so losing the argument doesn't mean losing face.

A role also answers the question a lot of quiet guests are asking themselves: what am I supposed to be doing right now? If the answer is on your phone, you don't have to read the room to find out.

And in a game about lying, quiet is a strategy. Someone who barely talks is hard to read, which makes a quiet player a dangerous liar. The standing advice for the Lobbyist is to argue the way you always argue. If that's quietly, stay quiet. There's more on arguing a side you don't believe in how to play devil's advocate.

• Answer in secret, then reveal. Everyone writes or taps an answer privately and they all come up together, so nobody's answer stands alone.
• Social deduction without elimination. Everyone has a role, and nobody gets voted onto the sidelines. The classic versions do knock people out, so check first. More in social deduction games.
• Cooperative games. The table plays against the game, so nobody gets singled out for losing.
• This or that, with a reason. Two options, and you defend yours. Anyone can explain why they'd keep the hot showers.

Skip anything built on a solo performance, like charades in front of the whole room or improv with a timer.

• Keep tables small. Four people is a conversation, and ten is an audience. At a bigger party, start two games at two tables.
• Let people watch first. In The Lobbyist, someone who joins halfway sits out the round that's on and plays from the next, so watching one round costs nothing.
• Start with small questions. Save the ones about relationships for after the ones about food and manners. Nobody needs to bare their soul in round one.
• Make sitting out easy. "Want in?" is a question, and "no" is an answer. Don't ask twice.
• Stop on time. A game of The Lobbyist is 5 rounds. End while people still want more and they'll ask for another game next time.
• Skip the forfeits. Losing is penalty enough.

Everyone in The Lobbyist speaks with a side assigned. A question comes up, everyone picks a side in secret, and the phone tells each player which side to argue. Most people argue what they picked, and the Lobbyist argues the other side. Either way, nobody walks into the argument empty-handed.

The phone does the organizing. It deals the question, hands out the roles and counts the votes, so nobody has to read rules aloud or referee. Nobody has to announce their side either. Your phone lies flat on the table, screen up, and says it for you.

The whole table argues and votes together. Half of all arguments at real tables are over within 79 seconds. Nobody is knocked out, so nobody spends the game on the sidelines feeling watched, and 3 people is enough to play. See phone party games for more games that work this way, or how to play for the rules.