What makes a good moral dilemma question?

Two answers a decent person could give. Should you cover for a friend? Should you keep money you found? If one side is obviously right, it's a quiz, not a dilemma.

Are moral dilemmas a good idea at a party?

The everyday ones are. Skip the life-and-death ones. They make people careful, and careful people are boring to argue with.

What is the trolley problem?

A thought experiment: a runaway trolley will kill five people unless you pull a lever that sends it toward one. It's the most famous moral dilemma, and it suits a classroom better than a dinner table.

Questions to argue about

Moral dilemma questions for friends

The best moral dilemmas for friends are small ones you might actually face this year, like money on the sidewalk or a friend who asks you to lie for them. Here are 14, each with the case for both sides.

Nov 3, 2026 · 5 min read

Play free

Why small dilemmas beat the trolley problem

The trolley problem is the famous one. A runaway trolley will hit five people unless you pull a lever and send it toward one. It's a good question for a philosophy class and an odd one for a party. Nobody at your table has ever stood next to that lever, so their answers are guesses about a person they'll never be.

Small dilemmas are different, because everyone has already answered them. You've found money. You've said you loved a gift you didn't. So when someone claims they'd hand in the $20, the people who know them can check that against what they've seen. That's where the argument gets good.

The low stakes make people more honest, too. Nobody wants to admit they'd let five strangers die. Admitting you'd keep the twenty is easy, and it says just as much about you.

Honesty dilemmas

Where being kind and being honest stop being the same thing.

Your best friend asks you to lie for them: cover, or tell the truth?
- COVER FOR THEM
  They'd do it for you, and that's what a best friend is for.
- TELL THE TRUTH
  A friend who asks you to lie is spending your name, not theirs.
Should you tell a friend their new haircut isn't great?
- YEA BE HONEST
  Friends tell you before you book the same cut again.
- NAY SAY IT'S GREAT
  Nothing you say will grow it back by Friday.
Do you have to act thrilled about a gift you hate?
- YEA ACT THRILLED
  Thirty seconds of acting spares a friend a whole bad night.
- NAY TELL THE TRUTH
  Fake joy gets you the same ugly sweater next year.
Can you call in sick when you're just sick of work?
- YEA TAKE THE DAY
  A burned-out brain counts, and one day off saves a whole bad week.
- NAY THAT'S LYING
  Your coworkers cover your shift thinking you have a fever.

When nobody would ever know

Doing the right thing is easy with an audience. These are the ones without one.

If you find $20 on the ground, is it yours?
- YEA KEEP IT
  Nobody can prove a loose twenty is theirs, so it's finders keepers.
- NAY TURN IT IN
  Somebody's lunch money is missing, and they're retracing their steps.
Is regifting OK if they'll never find out?
- YEA REGIFT IT
  The candle goes to someone who'll actually use it.
- NAY NEVER
  Someone always finds out, usually because the card is still inside.
Is food in the office fridge fair game after a week?
- YEA FAIR GAME
  After seven days it stops being lunch and starts being abandoned.
- NAY STILL STEALING
  A forgotten lunch is still somebody's lunch with their name on it.
Is returning clothes you've already worn once OK?
- YEA SMART
  You followed the thirty-day return policy to the letter.
- NAY SHADY
  You rented a dress for free and called it shopping.
Is leaving your cart in the parking lot OK?
- YEA IT'S FINE
  Stores hire people to round up carts, so you're keeping them busy.
- NAY MONSTER
  The return rack is thirty feet away, and that cart will hit a car.

Loyalty and fairness dilemmas

Where being a good friend and being a fair person point in different directions.

Should you tell your best friend you don't trust their partner?
- YEA TELL THEM
  A real friend speaks up before the wedding, not after.
- NAY KEEP QUIET
  They'll pick the partner, and you'll lose the friend.
If a friend is rude to a waiter, do you call it out right there?
- YEA CALL IT OUT
  The waiter heard it, so they should hear you push back too.
- NAY NOT IN PUBLIC
  Making a scene puts the waiter in the middle of a fight.
Should you lend your car to a friend?
- YEA LEND IT
  It's sitting in the driveway anyway, and they need to get to work.
- NAY NOT MY CAR
  If they crash it, your insurance and your friendship both take a hit.
If a friend owes you $5, do you ask for it back?
- YEA ASK FOR IT
  It's your money, and asking once is easier than stewing for a year.
- NAY WRITE IT OFF
  Five bucks is a small price for never having that conversation.
Should the sibling who did the caregiving inherit more?
- YEA THEY EARNED IT
  They gave up years of their life while everyone else sent cards.
- NAY SPLIT IT EVEN
  An uneven split turns grief into a family feud that never ends.

Running moral dilemmas with friends

Get the answer first and the reason second. If people explain before they commit, everyone drifts toward the respectable side. Have everyone say their answer at once, then go around.

Push for the real version. "I'd hand it in" is easy to say. Hand it in where, and to whom? A $20 bill on a sidewalk has no lost and found. Answers tend to change once there's an actual sidewalk in the picture.

Know when to move on. A question like the caregiving inheritance can land close to home for someone at the table. If it does, skip ahead. You're after a good argument, not a confession. For more questions about the people in your life, the debate topics page has a section on friends, and the debate questions for couples cover the ones you have at home.

Make it a game

The Lobbyist turns these into a game of catching a liar. Everyone answers in secret on their own phone. Then one player is told to argue the side they didn't pick, so the person making a passionate case for keeping the $20 might be the one who'd hand it in. The table argues and votes, then the phones reveal who was faking. It's a fair test of whether your friends can tell when you're lying.

Every dilemma here is in Fuzzy Logic, the free deck. How to play.

Questions people ask

What makes a good moral dilemma question?: Two answers a decent person could give. Should you cover for a friend? Should you keep money you found? If one side is obviously right, it's a quiz, not a dilemma.
Are moral dilemmas a good idea at a party?: The everyday ones are. Skip the life-and-death ones. They make people careful, and careful people are boring to argue with.
What is the trolley problem?: A thought experiment: a runaway trolley will kill five people unless you pull a lever that sends it toward one. It's the most famous moral dilemma, and it suits a classroom better than a dinner table.

Keep reading

Lie about lying

Play Fuzzy Logic free with 3 to 10 friends. One of them will be faking it.

Play free